• 9 Posts
  • 246 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Yeah, the father made a mistake. You’re the one that conflates making a mistake with an oopsie, nobody else has made that equivalence. Mistakes can be big and they can take lots of effort to correct. OP will surely deal with this in their own time and way with all the complex and contradictory and painful thoughts emotions.

    But - OP is not an adult when living with their parents. Children or young adults are not adults. They have a dependency on their parents. OP is not responsible for their father. OP should not be required to take responsibility for their father’s mistakes. OP is getting caught in the middle of the worst conflict a child can be caught up in and they did nothing to deserve it.

    I think what you are doing is projecting high moral ideals into this that are inconsiderate regarding the consequences when OP is asking for help and advice and support. This is the last thing OP needs right now and it is not helping them in any way. OP is in a moment of crisis.

    Discuss morality all you want but this is the wrong context for it.











    1. Your dad cheated on your mum, not on you.

    2. Everything involving humans is more complex and complicated than it might seem at first glance.

    3. Everybody makes mistakes, even your loved ones.

    4. You only have one dad, so it’s better to forgive them. (I didn’t forgive mine for other mistakes, and that was my mistake. Now I’m old and he is dead and that’s that.)

    5. Your mum is being selfish and manipulative because she is afraid and hurting. It’s not right what she is doing, but see the points above for her as well.

    6. Life is hard and unfair and difficult for everybody. For your dad, for your mum and also for you. It sucks when you’re stuck in the middle of other people’s problems, but remember all of this will pass. And remember to take care of yourself.

    Hugs my dude. You’ll get through this and so will they.

    Edit: 7. Time. Let things take time. Don’t rush what you feel or what you should feel. Don’t go overthinking everything. Things that are complicated need time to settle.

















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